My parents' photos

最近は実家によく泊まります。一ヶ月に一度は顔を出しているかも。出張があるのも事実ですが、親に会わなくちゃって思うことが多いから。盆や正月にも実家に帰らず、海外旅行にばかり出かけていた親不孝娘の私にとって、これは驚くべき頻度です。
実家に帰ると、よく両親の写真を撮るようになりました。庭仕事をしている父の姿や、居間の様子など、なんでもない風景をついカメラに撮りためてしまいます。写真を撮るのは、いつかこの風景が見られなくなるということを、現実として感じているからで、両親が健在な時の実家の様子がどんなだったか、忘れてしまうのがこわい、という気持ちもあります。滅多に家に帰れないお兄さん達にも、この写真をいつか見せてあげたいなぁ、とも思いながらとるわけです。そんな気持ちでカメラを覗くと、どうしてもっと一緒に過ごしてあげなかったんだろう、とか、お母さんから教わっていないことがまだたくさんあるのに、とか、私くらいの年齢の時、両親はどんなだったけ？とか、なんとも切ない気分になってしまいます。　写真を撮るという行為は、もうその風景にあえなくなるようで、寂しいものでもあります。
Recently I stay at my parents' often, maybe once a month. It is not only because I have some meetings to attend in Nagano, but I feel like going to see them. It is a very surprising change about me, because I was not a type to care about my family. I would fly to other countries when I have holidays, and never come home to see them. In Japan oshogatsu ( new year ) and obon are the time to go to their hometown, but I never did that. For me, traveling abroad was the most important things.
But these days, I often go home, see my parents and take some pictures of them, their garden, their living room, etc. It is just like getting prepared for the future when they both die. I am afraid I would forget what my home was like with my parents. They are in good health now and I don't have to worry so much for now, but the day will surely come. I shall show those photos to my brothers who have few chances to come home. Looking at them through my camera, I feel some kind of sadness. Why have they got old so fast, why didn't I spend more time with them, why didn't I learn more household things from my mother, what were they thinking when they were at my age,, Taking pictures makes me sad and nostalgic.